Selfish Love

Do you see the way your love is all about you?

When they say self love,
this isn’t what they mean.


Love, above all things, is selfless.

To want to be needed in and of itself
is a selfish love.

You are who you are.

God is who He is.

We aren’t needed by Him,
but does that devalue His love?

It chases us down the roads we take,
the choices we make,
in the snare, through the fire.

We don’t turn back to disappointment on His face.

All He has is grace.

He is not a god of equal effort.

He is not a god of broad love
and unsaid expectations.

He knows what He wants:
He wants you.

And He went to the ends of the earth to get you;
even to hades.

The keys to hell are in his hands!

Oh you say you are the martyr,
but you don’t bear the eternal scar.

How do you still have the audacity
to believe that isn’t enough?

Where is your sense of worth?

To place your identity in the minds of mere fallen beings
is more detrimental to life
than to trust that you can hold out your bleeding heart
and love.

Despite no returns,
rejection,
fear,
l o n e l i n e s s .

Your heart is a precious thing,
but how will you use it?

For your own flesh or the souls of others?

Watch and learn:
Try and fail.

Keep on giving.

You are not what you think you are.

You are more than unequaled effort:
Does the rain ever stop falling
because some patches of soil
refuse to grow their flowers?

Keep on keeping on.

Stop chasing rainbows.

You find the gold
when you don’t stop digging.

And it’s worth it, trust me.

~ olivia jane