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 networking

/ˈnɛtwəːkɪŋ/

noun: networking

1. the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts.

It's weird how normal social skills have had to become a part of what I do for work. In one way, it is amazing the connections that can be traced to and from every which and way through so many different avenues of faith to similar interests to work to church to mutual friends & acquaintances. It's sooo exciting to meet people and find where we all fit in this great big world.

 I guess you could say it started with the attempt at hiking Flagstaff Mountain in Tamworth, a 5km round trip from the top of Oxley Lookout. Except it did start awhile before that. 

The end of last year (and most of this one!) was hectic for me.

Tamworth had been working its way into my heart since Country Music 2020, and perhaps even before then. It wormed its way down and out, resulting in a job offer to work for Scripture Union in the North West of all places. 

October saw me serving at a leadership conference with my future boss, the purchase of my first car, resigning from my much loved church office job. 

November saw my start with SU, taking on afternoon oosh shifts at home when I could get them (afternoon so I'd have enough space for driving time), covering two days of chaplaincy in the north west region, travelling back and forth from Tamworth to home several times a week, finalising work with my parents and the office, handing over leading a bible study. 

December saw preparation for Christmas carols at my home church, the start of packing up my belongings, resigning from oosh, spending as much time as I could with my Maitland crew. 

🍂
I thought I knew what love was:
feeling the dying summer sun’s kiss on my warmth-craving skin;
when the earth feels like a warm embrace to my bare feet,
the air tastes like reminiscing.
Love like a spring fever, turning cold and winterish so slowly,
so gradually I can hardly tell that the season’s changing at all,
as autumn results in a fall;
that’s all I know.
April invites the mountains,
the rivers and birds May call for attention,
on the brink of the most beautiful destruction and preparation,
enough to be felt within my bones;
the sun on my skin like a lover gazing into my eyes,
trying to tell me something true,
this is what autumn is:
the breeze gently asking this world
are you ready?
Make the most of me.
Green sprouts of hope,
blue skies of purity;
it really is so simple!
Creation at its finest,
tainting memories with its beauty.
Love, like fall, doesn’t always stay
a bittersweet taste;
but heartbreak is cared for in the sweetest way,
Fall in love.
Fall:
the years March into the past, but fall
is always just around the corner,
to sweeten the break,
to soften the ache,
to gently heal the pain
and remind me that beginnings
sometimes start with a fall,
to take me deeper
and deeper;
to give courage
for the winter.
Because love lingers
where I least expect...
and fall reflections
will once again
lift my spirits.
🧡
- olivia jane

Love blinds. Emotion blinds. Ignorance doesn't know and apathy doesn't care.

"Can beauty come out of ashes?" - Ashes, Celine Dion

I have so much at my fingertips directly from my heart but it's so difficult to get that out on a page.

You can't wake someone who is pretending to be asleep. And I know that, so I don't know why it makes me so angry when they won't wake up. I suppose it's not my job to keep people awake, to keep them on the straight and narrow. I'm not God. But when does my personal responsibility end and theirs begin?

What do you see?

"Everything. That is my curse." - Sherlock Holmes

It is better to see everything and feel it all than to be ignorantly blind and not have to suffer seeing anyone else's pain.

Maybe they are blind because they wouldn't be able to handle sight.

Can alcohol and sweet food bear your burden? Or do they hide, for a little while, the ache, the pain, the feelings, the want, the desires you are too afraid to endure? How does numbing heal a wound if you just let it fester? I can't bear your burden if you aren't vulnerable.

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2

I've had to do hard things. Everyone has had to do hard things. You just have to be brave enough.

"If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small." - Proverbs 24:10

Do you think you can cure your inner longings with yourself? Like trying to chase out darkness with more darkness.

Do you see the way your love is all about you?

When they say self love,
this isn’t what they mean.

your failures and your flaws?

I'm only able to love what you show me

not what's behind those walls

Do you see this love for what it is

or as only gold for fools?

Do you think that showing brokenness

would be breaking all the rules?

But how can we love a perfect mask

when we know it hides a soul,

A heart with cracks and beautiful scars

that is worth the love and gold?

~ olivia jane

I get the chance to reach out and consider someone, but I miss it completely because I make assumptions and get caught up in my own self.

I failed to consider and love someone.

I jack up at the smallest detail that shouldn't be an issue and decide to clam up the rest of the night and internally scold myself.

I failed again by irrationally overreacting.

Situations escalate to the point of ridiculous. I could have done something about it. But I didn't. So the Word spoken at the dinner table, then gets taken and beat against my head, leaving me black and blue with another failure.

~

How strange it would be
That a shadow should not follow
How odd would it be
That a mirror not reflect

How wrong it would be
If a tree were not to grow
How sad would it be
To lose a man's respect

How strange it would be
That God should free a slave
How odd would it be
A rejection from His prize

How wrong it would be
To refuse the Hand that saves
How sad would it be
To stay a devil in His eyes

~

Sometimes when it's hard to keep on going without answers, doubt is that rip in the ocean that tries to drag you down & out, to tear your eyes from Jesus to look at your fate in the waves of despair... 
but Jesus doesn't leave you there to drown beneath the ocean - He grabs your hand, and He says, "Why did you doubt?"

~